If only I found this a few weeks ago I would have given one to each of my kids for Hanukkah. They promise no “real” tampons are harmed in the making of these dolls so the activists will love them too.

HERE

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—– Original Message —–
From: “Willie Zapata”
To: drunkjesus@gmail.com
Subject: Ready for the sex life you always dreamed about?

Are you ready for the sex life you always dreamed about?

Every man wishes he had a larger penis…
Every woman wishes their partner could last longer in bed…
Do you want to increase her pleasure, as well as your own?
Well now its possible with Maxx Length.
What are you waiting for? Give it a try:

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These are some new clips, at least clips I haven’t seen from the Larry Clark/Harmony Korine flick Ken Park. This mainstream/indy movie movement that incorporates real sex acts really gets me going. I see a move from porn to the mainstream and that gets me hard.

Check the clips out HERE

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Oh, Lindsay. We know your breasts are big, but if you really must remind us, what else can we do. Lindsay Lohan’s breasts are spectacular, to quote a little known sitcom, regardless of their foundation in reality. Though, One question remains: Why does she all of a sudden have the face of a fourty year old?

Update: Hi-Res Lindsay Lohan pics

More pics after the jump

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When I was looking for my wife, I shopped around…i weighed all my options and I even considered mail order, but being a poor person, I decided to take the other route, internet chat rooms, find the lonliest one around, and lure her in with my great looks and charm….

Here is a site I tried before I landed my Claudette

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She is the flat chested girl from Baywatch. I remember my college years (I never went to college) spending endless nights watching Baywatch. I never really understood why they had this character in the show, I think it had to do with something about the producers being sexist and only hiring big breasted women, enstilling a horrible image on today’s youth and advocating implants…this is like when the factory I worked at hired a bunch of Paki’s, they were right off the boat and stank like curry. Was that racist? It’s affirmative action bitch and cheap labor. Without it my people would be much poorer.

Alexandra had a sex scene with a dude from ROBOCOP, edited was the part where his hard dick poked out of his boxers. I remember when this happened to me, only it wasn’t during a sex scene, it was at swimming practice, and I was the coach…..I just couldn’t get enough of them girls.

The clip is here

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Kate BECKINSALE apparently had to give her daughter’s rabbit to the help (which by the way is a distant mexican cousin of Jesus, my misbehaving client)becuase the rabbit wouldnt stop jerking off.

Actress KATE BECKINSALE was forced to give her daughter’s randy rabbit to the family cleaning lady – because it wouldn’t stop masturbating in its cage.

The PEARL HARBOR star eventually ran out of explanations as to what her daughter LILY’s pet was doing as he pleasured himself and “humped” his food bowl.

She came to the conclusion that the rabbit simply wasn’t comfortable in his surroundings.

Beckinsale says, “I think his own frustrated sexuality just consumed him in a horrid and chilling way.

“I don’t think he liked being in a cage and wouldn’t stop masturbating and humping his food bowl. I was sick of inventing different explanations of what that was.

“Also, he was boring and, other than masturbate, he didn’t do anything.”

Here

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Kate BECKINSALE apparently had to give her daughter’s rabbit to the help (which by the way is a distant mexican cousin of Jesus, my misbehaving client)becuase the rabbit wouldnt stop jerking off.

Actress KATE BECKINSALE was forced to give her daughter’s randy rabbit to the family cleaning lady – because it wouldn’t stop masturbating in its cage.

The PEARL HARBOR star eventually ran out of explanations as to what her daughter LILY’s pet was doing as he pleasured himself and “humped” his food bowl.

She came to the conclusion that the rabbit simply wasn’t comfortable in his surroundings.

Beckinsale says, “I think his own frustrated sexuality just consumed him in a horrid and chilling way.

“I don’t think he liked being in a cage and wouldn’t stop masturbating and humping his food bowl. I was sick of inventing different explanations of what that was.

“Also, he was boring and, other than masturbate, he didn’t do anything.”

Here

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You didn’t think i would forget to post today did you? Well you are an idiot, but I am too, at least that is what my adoptive father used to tell me everyday of my life. I think that is the reason I had low expectations and pretty much gave up on myself. I thank the lord, the real Jesus, everyday for bringing me together with my fat wife. I actually have to thank Yahoo.com, for offering their chat program, without which I would never met my wife, meaning I would never meet my stepdaughters…..

Today’s google image search of the day is for the commonly used DSC001, which is the default naming for certain digital cams, don’t ask me, we already went through this, I am an idiot.

Results can be found here

Top 5 picks:

DSC001 Pyiama Party, Check out his nipples

DSC001 Asian Baby Sucking Things

DSC001 In the right position to take it from the back

DSC001 NAKED ART

DSC001 lekkerbekjes

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Pretty simple to use – Follow these instructions:

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